Ladder to Almost Heaven
Warnings: Sexually Explicit Content
Feeling particularly lonely as she watches her best friend fall deeper in love with his senior every day, Prae comes to terms with what she truly wants for herself, but can’t resist one last endeavour in a secret affair that has no promise of fulfilling what her heart truly desires.
Perhaps it’s simply because she’s just not a fan of unnecessary noise, but it’s at Kongpob and Arthit’s joint birthday get-together that Prae is reminded of how parties are really not her scene.
Maprang, ever the enthusiast, had sent out sparkling invitations on their friend’s behalf, insisting that everyone dress to the nines, even though they would just be eating pizza and sipping beer in the living room of Kongpob’s home while his parents are away on business for the weekend. They would return to celebrate with their son on his actual birthday.
It’s an evening of side-splitting laughter, mostly coming from Arthit’s group of friends, barely intimidating ghost stories from Tew and Oak, and reminiscence of their hazing days, the juniors having hosted the gear ceremony a few months prior. If Prae’s being honest, she doesn’t have quite such a fervent attachment to the hazing process as some of her peers, having merely served as part of the medical team. With Kongpob’s kind but firm leadership, everything had gone ridiculously smoothly that year, leaving Prae and May with little to do other than offer refreshments to the freshmen on particularly hot days.
Instead, the two of them had spent their afternoons in the clinic doing their homework together, or sitting in the cool shade of the bleachers by the athletics field, speculating when Tew would come to his senses about his fixation on a particularly difficult freshman. After all, they’d witnessed a similar dynamic before, although they’d perhaps been too close to the situation at the time to realise what was happening.
In any case, if not for the fact that she and May (and Maprang, when she didn’t have her nose in her phone or wasn’t fawning over every guy she found remotely good-looking) had gotten to spend that time together, Prae thinks that she would much rather have taken Kongpob up on his offer to be a part of the main hazing team. She hadn’t thought she had much of a authoritative presence, but one can never tell with these things. If Arthit is any example, even the shyest and non-confrontational of people can possess a more aggressive side.
It’s a little past 11PM now and the majority of them have split off into chunks, chatting among their small groups in different corners of the living room. Prae finds herself isolated in a corner by the patio door as her friends, in various states of tipsy, talk loudly and erupt with random outbursts of laughter every so often.
Both Kong and Arthit, sitting on the steps leading down to the sunken living room area, must be at least a little buzzed, the latter of the two completely ignorant of their blatant display of affection as they exchange sweet, lingering kisses between soft bouts of laughter and whispered flirtations, intertwining their fingers. They’re completely enraptured in each other’s company.
Prae smiles softly, abundantly happy for both of them, although she can’t help but envy what they have — not necessarily the joy and relief of seemingly finding true love, but rather the excitement of intimacy with someone who finds you attractive, something that Prae lies awake at night craving, picturing a faceless, wet sex grinding against her own as she rubs her fingers against her folds.
It’s never quite enough.
Sweeping the velvet material of her skirt under the back of her legs as she stands up from the arm of the couch, Prae steps strategically over open pizza boxes and half-empty beer cans to head for the bathroom. It’s near the end of the corridor, and following a startled grunt (Prem?) behind the door after she knocks, she takes Kongpob’s next best suggestion of using the guest room en-suite. Because of course, this marble mansion is large enough for a guest room and a study with floor-to-ceiling glass walls. She doesn’t tease her friend about it, though, his utter humility and politeness making it impossible to do so even good-naturedly. Not that it stops Arthit, though, she’s observed.
The closing of the guest room door envelops Prae in relative silence, the only sound the occasional cackling of laughter from Bright and Tutah muffled by the wooden door. Deciding she doesn’t actually need the toilet, she plops herself down on the loveseat at the foot of the queen-sized bed, lying back with her legs hanging off the side as she scrolls through her phone.
She can’t explain why she still has the cluster of dating apps installed in her phone. Every profile she looks through seems cold and empty, and she doesn’t feel it’s worth her time to invest in a person she knows almost nothing about. There’s always something wrong with each girl who happens to be interested in her — too active, too boring, likes the wrong kind of music, or, god forbid, likes dogs. Maprang says she’s being ridiculous, and tells her to just swipe right on everyone and see who she matches with before filtering people out. She’d certainly tried before, only ever managing to get far enough in conversation with one girl, and after attempting to ask her out again, Prae had been met with a sheepish explanation that she’d just been looking for sex.
After rejecting every last person on each list in every app, she clicks her phone to sleep, chucking it onto the mattress beside her. Perhaps she’d made the wrong move coming out to her friends. Not that they hadn’t been supportive, because they certainly had, but all of a sudden, the boys in their friendship circle had begun acting like they didn’t know how to behave around her.
To be fair, they’d been clueless about talking to girls even before she’d come out to them, but the fact that she would never be interested in any of them that way had made certain conversations even more awkward, topics usually falling into the realm of either class assignments or the persistently hot weather. Granted, she’s glad they never try to rope her into drooling over other girls together. Gross.
Still, she wished it were different. The only exception, of course, is Kongpob, but he’s a guy, and she yearns for a connection with someone she can develop warm, tingly feelings for.
She doesn’t need forever, just something longer than one wild night.
As if her silent plea has been heard, someone else stumbles into the room; a slightly tipsy May, who’s dressed in a beautiful strapless dress with a puffy tulle skirt, much like a modern day princess. May pads her way across the carpet to look at herself in the mirror, running two fingers under her eyes to wipe at slightly smudged makeup that has left her with faint dark patches. Prae sits up, crossing her own legs under her decidedly more understated dress, tugging the hem down to reach mid-thigh. Suddenly, she feels self-conscious in her best friend’s presence, like someone (but who?) is watching the two of them alone in the dimly lit room, silently comparing the two girls and judging their choice of attire.
Prae looks away, trying not to stare at the girl as she flops down onto the bed, lying down so her hair splays out beneath her like a fan woven of black silk. Maybe this is why she can’t properly put herself out there and find something meaningful, she thinks. A part of her is still occasionally clings onto a drunken comment made over two years ago, and a few moments of quiet exploration of each other’s bodies in the heat of pure lust.
“Tired?” May turns her head to look at Prae, whose gaze is still fixated coiling a loose thread around her finger.
“Yeah,” she says, not looking up. “Just needed a little quiet. You?”
“The main bathroom was occupied, so I came in here.”
“Kong and Arthit looked so happy tonight. It’s really nice that they have each other.”
The comment doesn’t come as a surprise to Prae, although her friend had once had an enormous crush on their charming classmate. It’s hard not to be happy for someone like Kong, who honestly deserves the smile that’s brought to his face at the mere mention of their head hazer.
“Yeah, I wish I had that,” Prae laughs humourlessly. May just looks at her for an extended pause, then rolls over on her side and then sits up to face her, reaching out to squeeze Prae’s hand on the mattress.
“You’ll find someone, I’m sure of it,” she says reassuringly. Prae tries to ignore the soft, manicured fingers wrapped around her own, forcing a tight-lipped smile.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“How are things with M?”
It had been over two years since M had suggested to May that he had feelings for her. And yet, especially on days when Prae would have her mouth up May’s skirt, she would hear about how their clueless friend seemed unwilling to just be clear about what he wanted. On those days, Prae wonders if May even really wants something with the boy, with the way should would roll her eyes and shrug whenever the topic came up.
“If he wants something, then he should speak up. I’m not going to wait around for him.”
Prae nods, as she always does. She chuckles, fluffing the giant poof of May’s dress, the tulle material fanning out on the mattress.
“I like your dress.”
“Thanks,” May lets out a short laugh. “Although the skirt is a bit much. Maprang insisted on something grand.”
“It’s pretty. I didn’t bother that much,” Prae tilts her head as she lowers her gaze. “Hey, you have a run in your tights.”
“Oh, shit. Is it big? I can’t even see it properly with this giant skirt.”
Prae pokes a finger playfully into a hole at the bottom of the laddered tear, just above the ankle. May giggles at the ticklish sensation, but doesn’t pull her foot back.
“Well, it starts here…” Prae trails her finger along the run now, up the calf, further up past the knee, and further yet, and it grows quiet until her hand has traced almost the full length of May’s leg, the girl shivering slightly at the touch.
“Prae,” she says breathlessly, eyes suddenly clouded with a familiar darkness.
“No, it’s okay…um, maybe I should take them off.”
But May makes no move to remove the torn pantyhose, instead slowing her breaths as she seemingly summons Prae’s deep set eyes to meet hers.
“Maybe you could help me?”
The question comes out hesitantly, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation. Prae can’t fully read her expression, but before she can truly parse what’s happening, her hand is gently brought back over the sheer nylon, pulled upwards until her hand reaches the waistband.
May leans back on her elbows, watching.
Prae is frozen for a moment, but gulps as she pulls the tights down gradually, marvelling at the smooth skin of May’s thighs as she does so, until the tights are fully removed. When she’s set them aside, abandoned in a thin pile on the carpet, May hooks her heels over Prae’s exposed shoulders, pulling her closer.
“May…” she sucks in a breath, hovering with her hands on either side of the girl’s knees now. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk. I’ve only had half a beer all evening, and that was over three hours ago.”
Prae is quiet, still searching for some definitive sign that her friend is messing with her. She must be. They’d not done anything with each other since…well, since hazing had ended a few months ago.
“Do you not want to?” May sits up again, brows knotted with concern now. “I mean…I just thought because…before…”
“What does this even mean for us? We can’t keep doing this, May.”
It’s a question that has been misbehaving in the back of Prae’s mind since after the first time they’d been physically intimate. It would be stupid of her to fall for her otherwise straight friend, and yet the writhing and pleasured gasps won’t escape her memory.
“Does it have to mean something?”
“I don’t know,” Prae admits honestly.
“You…keep saying you don’t want to do stuff with girls you don’t know,” May looks serious now. “Well, I’m your friend and you trust me, right? It’s not like it’s the first time.”
The first time had been almost two years ago when they were sophomores, and they had shared a room in the resort villa after that year’s gear ceremony. Slightly buzzed and giggly, May had begun showering her friend with compliments, much to Prae’s shyness. After a seemingly friendly hug, May had then pressed hesitant lips to the crook of an exposed neck and the slope of narrow shoulders, and Prae had lost all resolve in trying to resist the purely carnal attraction. To her surprise — or perhaps not — May had been anything but shy about the entire thing, and Prae didn’t know if she’d ever heard more beautiful sounds than the moans of the girl whose legs she’d had her face nestled between.
And then they’d never spoken of it after that, going about their lives in the most nonchalant of manners, as if nothing had happened, May still linking her arm with hers as she would happily chat with Maprang about the ridiculousness of that day’s horoscope. Every now and then, Prae would still lie awake thinking of the unique and addicting sensation, but then banish the idea from her thoughts, knowing that it had been the first and last time.
Until there was a second time, when May had asked to borrow a shirt after hers had received a considerable fish sauce stain at lunch, and Prae’s dorm had been closer to their next lecture. May had shamelessly unbuttoned her blouse right in front of her, and it might have just been Prae’s imagination, but her stunningly beautiful friend had gone about it almost deliberately slowly, arching her neck and shoulders back ever so slightly. She’d brought her gaze up to meet Prae’s in the mirror of the dressing table, breathing heavily so the swell of her chest would rise and fall like the quiet buildup of an incoming tide. A few tentative, shallow breaths against the girl’s neck and Prae had once again found herself with a hand clasped over her mouth to muffle her pleasured screams.
From then on, it had become a spontaneous, secretive endeavour for them whenever the situation allowed, until hazing ended, and they no longer spent days together in the empty clinic, nor had much reason for the two to be alone in either of their dorm rooms.
Prae is still quiet, blinking through her uncertainty in the warm, dim light of the room.
“We can’t keep doing this, May,” she finally says after a full minute of silence. “Do you actually even like M?“
“I’m not going to stop living my life just because he can’t make his mind up. Right now…I want this. It is what it is. Don’t overthink it,” May says this last part almost indignantly, but her expression is still soft.
“We’re in Kong’s guest room.”
May actually scoffs at this, shaking her head.
“You don’t think those two are at it themselves? I saw them sneak off upstairs earlier when they thought no one was looking.”
Prae wrinkles her nose at this in an awkward grimace. The two girls hold each other’s stares just a moment longer, Prae’s gaze now drifting down towards plump lips, stained a peachy pink from faded lipstick.
Don’t overthink it.
And in the midst of her trance-like appreciation, those lips capture her own.
It’s sweet, and patient, and May’s lips taste vaguely of the spicy crisps she’d been snacking on, with the faint, sharp traces of diet cola. She’s tasted them many times before, but May kisses with an uninhibited enthusiasm that unfailingly sends a sharp, longing ache through Prae’s entire body. It’s an astronomically bad idea, what she’s perpetuating here, but as her tongue melds with May’s, soft locks hanging down like a curtain around their kiss to further block out any light, Prae thinks that she might be done thinking altogether.
May moves to properly lie down, pulling Prae’s face with her so that she’s hovering above, running fingers through hair that had been ironed into perfect curls earlier but have now loosened into soft, messy waves from the night’s laughter-filled festivities.
Pulling away from her mouth now, Prae begins to trail feather-light kisses down May’s neck and gently sucking at a spot right below the edge of her jaw. The trail of her mouth’s imprints makes its way down the expanse of sage and bergamot-scented skin and to her collarbone where the chain of a dainty necklace is tugged to one side, the silver leaf pendant hanging at the point of gravity.
Eventually, she comes down to the two soft peaks that are pushed towards the collarbone, gently spilling out of the faintly shimmery sweetheart neckline of May’s dress from lying on her back. She tugs the material down slightly, one small, stiff peak peeking out over the cup of the built-in bra. Prae ducks down to run the tip of her tongue around the entire, pinkish brown areola, earning a drawn out sigh of deep satisfaction from the girl beneath her. The familiar tingle of excitement pools in her centre.
She tugs at the nipple lightly between her lips, occasionally flicking the bud with her tongue in rogue playfulness. Satisfied with the sufficiently rosy hue of swelling, she moves to work on the other side, but May reaches out and gently turns her face back up towards her.
“Enough of that, just…”
She gestures for Prae to sit back a little, then pulls up the mass of her tulle skirt so that it rests across her middle, exposing her simple, seamless panties. A dark, wet spot is already forming on the lilac material.
Prae takes her time drinking in the view, though, as if knowing she may never get to experience such an erotic sight ever again. Gently, she pushes her doe-eyed friend’s knees slightly apart, sliding her hands slowly up milky inner thighs, grazing her thumbs over the stretch of graciles until she’s gently tugging down the second piece of clothing from under May’s skirt that evening.
Curling her grasp around to squeeze the flesh around her thighs, Prae’s breath ghosts over the stretch of smooth skin everywhere but where May wants most desperately.
“You’re such a tease.”
Prae merely shrugs, now bringing her thumbs up to press circles around the mildly puffy labia, already slightly glistening with arousal. May simply closes her eyes and tilts her head back, like she’s at a spa. Her breathing, though, is slightly laboured, and Prae smirks to herself, breaking the girl’s relaxed state as she rubs several fingers across the dark, moistened folds, pushing her clit in clockwise motion with meditative control. Immediately, a breathy whimper escapes May’s plump, kiss-swollen lips, her hips bucking slightly as she ruts into Prae’s torturously slow movements.
She switches now to teasing the clit with her thumb and choosing sporadically to insert two fingers into the warm, dripping wet cavern, pressing her vacant hand down on May’s navel whenever her back would arch off the mattress. May tries to look down, but her view is obstructed by the ridiculous puff of tulle. Her mouth hangs open in a soft moan, trying not to make too much noise, in case someone should walk by. After all, they hadn’t locked the door.
And what a sight it would be to walk in on, May with her skirt pushed up to her chest, enthralled in her first orgasm of that evening as Prae works into her with careful, calculated precision.
“Are you just going to keep doing that?” May whispers between heavy exhales as she comes down from her high, shuddering a little from the tickling ends of Prae’s wavy locks against her thighs. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s great, but — ohhh.”
Her breathless question is cut off as Prae finally bends down to capture the throbbing bud between her lips, sucking lightly and moving her head side to side before she’s pulling back and releasing the soaking wet fold of skin surrounding May’s — and it’s really the only way Prae can think to describe it — perfect pussy.
May is clearly squirming now, feet lifting off the mattress, toes pointed and curled as Prae licks a careful and deliberate stroke up along the entire labia with the flat of her tongue, then stiffens it to dip into the crevice. Her own mouth is watering from a thirst for May’s familiar taste she’d been straining to hide. And suddenly, she’s done taking it slow, saliva mixing with May’s juices as she draws her lips and tongue hungrily over the neat, slightly darker flesh, feeling her own panties moisten from the delectable cries that her friend is barely succeeding in muffling with the back of her hand. They come out more like repeated, fatigued vocalisations of a particularly difficult high note, the only music in the otherwise deafeningly quiet room aside from the ravenous sounds of Prae continuously tonguing her most sensitive core, occasionally taking a break to suck gently.
She dares herself to glance up as she drills her own name with wet muscle, marking territory that isn’t hers. Then, she’s slipping two fingers back in to slide them back and forth, and intermittently curling them in search of just the right spot. May has weakly pushed herself up onto her elbows, trying to become an interactive audience to Prae performing her oral magic but instead, her eyes are squeezed shut with delicious anguish, her face tensing to reveal the dimples above her cheekbones. Then, almost unexpectedly, May grabs a pillow from above her head, quietly screaming into the plush material as the second (third? Maybe fourth) wave of pleasure overcomes her.
Prae finally pulls back with soft, wet noise, and licks the remnants of her work off her lips like a forbidden treat. She watches in fascination through hooded lids as May takes a good minute or so to recover, squeezing her own thighs together as though she physically cannot handle the pleasurable convulsions. Meanwhile, Prae slips a hand into her own lacy briefs, inhaling sharply as fingers skim over a wet bundle of nerves, heightened by the sight of May’s occasional, sudden jerks as her orgasm works its final aftershocks through her.
Eventually, the pillow falls to the side, a brief smudge of shimmery makeup imprinted on the white linen. Her exposed breast still hangs over the top of her dress, her chest littered with vaguely reddened patches, heaving with fatigue as she catches her breath. It’s the perfect picture of satiated lust, the faint smile on May’s lips likely from the fantasy of being pleasured by someone else. Someone who’s not the girl who has her taste memorised like a complicated password.
It takes her another moment before she can finally muster the strength to sit up, simply watching. Prae screws her eyes shut and mashes her lips together as she trembles out the faintest release. And as soon as it’s over, she gets up with no trouble, and pads over to the bathroom, where she washes her stained hand under the tap. When she returns into the room, May is still looking at her with wide eyes but her giant skirt is pulled back down now, her panties still discarded somewhere on the floor.
“I was going to do the same for you.”
“It’s fine. I know you don’t like it,” she avoids her friend’s gaze altogether, bending down to pick up the fallen garments and placing them on the bed. “Here. Um. We should straighten the bed out.”
“Can we please not talk about this right now?” Prae says humourlessly. “Just…get dressed.”
May shifts her gaze awkwardly, hurriedly adjusting herself and pulling her underwear back on, then shuffles off of the bed. She grips her own elbow in one hand, watching helplessly as Prae makes quick work of smoothing out the sheets and fluffing out the pillow, the faint beige stain of bronzer placed face side down to hide the evidence of her recent euphoria.
“I’ll…see you in class,” Prae says in a low voice, before slipping out of the room into the hallway. When she’s back out in the living room, the rest of their friends have either fallen asleep or slowly getting there. Sure enough, Kong and Arthit are nowhere to be found.
Sorry, I’ve gotta leave first. Thanks for the party. Happy Birthday to you both <3
She watches the text get delivered, but remain unread. And then, like breaking a habit, she climbs into the backseat of a taxi and texts the license plate number to Maprang instead.